New face of the Lions

It's a done deal. The best team at being the worst has signed Matthew Stafford as the #1 pick in the 2010 NFL Draft for a record $72 million deal for six years. He will also receive a record $41.7 million in guaranteed money.

Woo hoo. This is great. Of course you have some bloggers complaining that he is being offered too much money and that the league ought to do something to prevent this, such as commissioner Roger Goodell said in this quote:

"It's not that I'm opposed to the rookies getting money, I think that's great. But I think the veterans that have proven themselves on the NFL Level deserve the bulk of the compensation. When a player is drafted and doesn't make it and he takes that money out of the system, that's a disadvantage to the other players in the league. That's what I keep trying to get across. We need to keep the money in the system and it needs to go to the veterans that deserve it. ... It's a relatively simple fix if we sit down and address it."

It's bad enough we have to deal with the anti-capitalistic salary cap in football, now we have people saying that teams like the Lions that have been woeful for over 50 years can't pay what it takes to draw in the player they think is the best shot at saving the franchise.

Yes, as new GM Schwartz said, "It's time to replace Bobby Lane." That's true. It is time. And, when Bobby Lane was traded to the Pittsburgh Steelers to end his three championship career with the Lions, he cursed the lions that they would not win another championship for another 50 years.

Well, his curse is now over. Matthew Stafford was signed in year #51. And, as a further coincidence, Stafford graduated from the same high school as Bobby Layne: Highland Park High School in Dallas

For you faithful Lion fans who never give up hope, here is our hope:

Do not take away the Lions Thanksgiving day game

I wanted to blog about this before it becomes too untimely. But I am tired of sportscasters talking about how the Thanksgiving game should be rotated, instead of given to the Detroit Lions every year.

Sure, the Lions embarrased the world this year with their pathetic loss to the Titans. Still, we Lion fans look forward to watching our favorite team -- for better or worse-- on Thanksgiving day. It's our tradition.

So, just because you are not a Lion fan is no reason for you to wish to take away our tradition.

Some day, hopefully within the next 50 years while I'm still alive, the Lions will be a good team again. When that happens the nation will get to watch a good team on Thanksgiving day.

Until then, do not take away the one thing we Lion fans look forward to: the Thanksgiving day game.

Happy Birthday to Freadom Nation

I just realized that today is Freadom Nation's first birthday. Now I'm looking for some good news to consider as my birthday present.

So, I see that the Hapless Detroit Lions traded Roy Williams to the Dallas Cowboys for three picks, including a #1 pick in 2009. That means the Lions will have 5 of the 1st 100 picks in 2009.

Can the Lions actually make good on these picks?

Anyway, I suppose, since McCain still trails in the polls, that this trade was my birthday gift. I was hoping for something more exciting, but I suppose there is still another 12 hours 40 minutes left in this day.

One thing I will not do is be gloomy regardless of the political prospects. We must remind ourselves the world will not come to an end even if the U.S. does become a socialisst nation like all of Europe.

We must relax, take things in stride, and continue to pray for the best. And pray that neither of these Goofus's raises our taxes to the point bloggers like me can no longer afford to pay for the Internet, which would mean the end of our blogs.

Hmmm, maybe that's Obama's plan. No Internet no more truth.

Well, anyway, happy birthday to me. I'm happy and thrilled to have this opportunity even if I do only have one or two readers.

Millen Gone!!!

Yeah, Millen is gone. Now who do we Lion Fans boo? That answer is easy. Since 1962 when William Clay Ford became owner of the Lions, they have won one playoff game. So, I think it's time for Ford to go too.

Too bad he can't be fired.

Before Ford was owner, the Lions won three championships in the 1950s with Bobby Lane as QB.

Get over it Lion fans: Here's how

Well, I am assuming you read my post yesterday and have decided to seek therapy.

Good. You have taken the first step. I know you have that urge to watch the game. I KNOW because I have it too. I too have that feeling: THIS MIGHT BE THE DAY.

Okay, it might be true that if you watch enough Lion games THIS one just might be THE one. Sure, and your grandma might come back from her grave and become an avid Lion fan too.

So, what can we do to help ourselves?

You know that feeling you get when you see some dorky man raking his garden when the Lions are on. You know? You thought, "How could any REAL man not be watching football right now?"
You know that irritated feeling you had when you were at your brother-in-laws watching the Lions pre-game show and, just as the Lions were kicking off, the bumbling idiot turned on some old boring movie.

You sat there vexed. Yet you were a gentleman and said nothing.

Yes, you are not alone. However, did you ever notice that those dorky men who never watch sports don't get vexed either. THEY are apathetic. And, it is apathetic that you want to become. You want to be phlegmatic.

How do you become an apathetic Lion fan. Aha, you need therepy. To get therapy, all you need to do is look at what the dorky, non-Lion watching fool and see what he does during Lion games.

Yes, and here is a list of things you can do for therapy at 1:00 on Sundays instead of watching the Lions.

1. You can watch an old Elvis movie with your wife


2. You can mow the lawn


3. You can pick the last few tomatoes


4. You can take your children to the park


5. You can make out with your spouse


6. You can watch a boring political speech


7. There's always the history channel or discovery


8. Or you can watch the cooking channel.


9. Perhaps a new hobby will get set your mind right
10. Take your family out to eat during the game


11. You can always take a nap (then again, that might remind you of the Lions)


12. Visit your brother-in-law who hates sports and talk about the cows

Tut-tut! Don't give in to that temptation to turn on the game. Remember, your goal here is to get the Lions out of your head. Don't flip the channel, because this is not THE game.

Come one. Don't fall into the trap that just because the Lions do good one game that they will repeat.

The apathetic Lion fan

If you are a Lion fan -- or a former Lion fan -- you may need therapy. At 1:00 on Sunday you will more than likely be having football withdrawal symptoms.

You will have this urge to turn on the boob tube to see if this might be THE day. You know the feeling: if you watch enough Lions games THIS JUST MIGHT BE THE ONE.

Of course you know you feel that way every off season. Even though the Lions collapse on an annual basis, you still feel a ray of hope. This past off season might just be the perfect example, as the Lions did well in the pre-season.

We Lions fans had faith. Yes. We had a ray of hope. Yes, we naive Lion fans really believed that THIS JUST MIGHT BE THE YEAR.

Of course that ray of hope ended two minutes into that first game. Yet, we continued to watch, because perhaps the Lions JUST MIGHT TURN IT AROUND. If I watch another five minutes, the Lions just might reward me.

It's that thought, "This might just might be the game" that drives us Lion fans. And, yet, the Lions never seem to deliver. The Lion fan stays in waiting, and hoping, and... ever disappointed.

That's okay, though, because there's always the Pistons. There's always the Redwings. There's always the Tigers. Still, there would be nothing more rewarding than to end the Bobby Lane curse.

There is hope. Right? The Cubs have a good team. The Redsox and Whitesox broke their respective curses lately. So, there is hope. Right?

Right?

Tell me there is.

Okay, let's just be real here. The Lions are not going to produce THAT team this year. That when you are the worse team in football nine years going, you really can't collapse. So, this year REALLY isn't a collapse. It's... it's the way it is with the Lions.

I learned long ago that you don't get your hopes up with the lions. If you did, you'd be the fool to throw his remote control each week. If you did, you'd be the fool who yells profanities at the TV.

No. You are not that fool. You are the one who has learned to take each Lions game in stride. You are the eternal phlegmatic fan. You are apathetic.

The alternative is too pathetic to see. The alternative is an unhappy man. The alternative is depressed. The alternative is a man or woman in the doldrums of life.

No, you are not that fan. That's why you seek therapy. Tomorrow, on this very blog, I will reveal to you alternative therapies you can do at 1:00 on Sunday when you used to watch the Lions.

Yes. It's time for you to admit: THIS IS NOT THE YEAR; THIS IS NOT the GAME.

Say it. Say it again. It's good therapy.

How the Lions can win me back

I quit. Here's how the damn Lions can get me back as a fan:

1. Trade Jon Kitna to the Patriots for the entire O-line
2. Have Ford move franchise to New York so we can get a new franchise
3. Better yet, Ford can simply sell the team so we can get a real owner
4. Millen quits or is fired and Lions get a real GM
5. Quit drafting QBs and WRs when what they really need is an O-line and D-line first
6. Get really lucky in the draft again and get another Barry Sanders
7. Get lucky and draft a good QB for 1st time in, say, 60 years.
8. Shoot us all and put us out of our miseries
9. Trade Roy Williams and Calvin Johnson to Eagles for an O-line, and NOT draft a WR in 1st round for next ten years.
10. Hire a real GM, or did I say that already

So, what's it like being a Bears fan? Or, should I start rooting for Green Bay, they always seem to put up some decent teams; Rogers seems to be pretty decent.

Gosh, if I'm a packers fan now, I better turn that game back on; I have something to root for.

Woo hoo, go Pack. Say welcome to the newest cheese head.

Is it possible the LIONS might be GOOD????

I know this is way out there. And I know this is only half-time of the final game of the preseason. But is it possible that the Detroit Lions might actually be good this year?

Calm down! Calm down! Don't knock me up alongside the head. I'm not getting overly excited here, I'm just saying.

Is is possible?

I mean, they have been relatively decent in the preseason. They are probably going to go 4 and 0. The defense has been very impressive all four games. Heck, today they had two safeties in the 1st half alone.

Is it possible?

Can you imagine if the Lions managed to make it to the Superbowl? I'm not sure if sports fans in Michigan can handle it. Do you have a weak heart? This might be the one. This might just be enough to cause you to have the big one.

You would have no problem recognizing Lion fans, because they'd be the one's walking around like zombies in bug eyed amazement. Some of them, as I mentioned above, might simply drop dead from pure surprise.

If they win the Superbowl!! Watch out, man. I highly doubt this state is prepared for this, especially after expecting that every year will be the one, only to be let down -- again, and again, and again, and again...

I think it's best that we don't get our hopes up, but...Is it possible?

Just think, they play a poor team with a new QB in week 1. They play an old experienced team with a 1st year starter in Green Bay in week 2. Then they play a poor team with perhaps a new QB in week 3. Then, after a bye in week 4, they play a pathetic offense in Chicago. Then they play a team with no offense in Minnesota.

Then they play Houston, which could actually be good this year, but has historically been pathetic as well. Then Washington, which has talent but has yet to put it all together. And then Chicago again.

The rest of the way the only real credible team is the Colts. Sure, Green Bay did well last year, but they, as I said, have a 1st year starter throwing the ball.

Now, let's not get too excited as the real season has not started yet.

But, , again, I ask: Is it possible???